The Alien, The Female, Her Lover And Et Cetera
by TharaCorleone
Summary: Lakit and Sigma are in heated discussion at Sakrohm HQ. Nothing new there...


Many would have thought that Lakit would have had a rough year ahead of him when his doomsday prophecies turned out to be a ruse. But when one considered that the alien wasn't the only one who had been spouting 'gas', and he had been a lot more discreet compared to some believers in the Apocalypse, then the Sakrohm had generally been more than willing to keep giving him a home, especially when he was more than willing to do his fair share of the clan's housework; not having much else to do, plus he claimed it was therapeutic. Nevertheless, it seemed to be doing something as his fights with Aleister now only seemed to be on a weekly basis.

However, it had never stopped him from trying to convince Sigma that she was wasting her life with a fraud, and today would be no exception; noticing her sat at her usual seat in the common room with a book that was actually written in English, Lakit couldn't help shaking his head at the text-filled pages as he passed her sitting place.

"You don't want to be wasting time with that nonsense."

"Just because you think it's nonsense, doesn't mean that it is," Sigma replied, not even lifting her head from the words to shoot him an annoyed glance. "This whole area of channelling is rather interesting. I guess that makes Aleister a medium of sorts."

"All he ever seems to channel is dead people who only ever want to give us their fortunes," he commented, raising an eyebrow. "It's never anyone's great auntie wanting to say hello and see how their great grand-niece is doing. Doesn't that seem a little suspect?"

"That's not entirely true," Sigma replied, looking the alien in the eye. "When Lilou's Uncle died on New Year's, Aleister channelled him the next day.

"For about ninety seconds until the alarm went off and we all had to pointlessly evacuate."

"He can't be blamed for that!"

"No, but Ngrath can," Lakit then retorted, his tone and expression turning ever so slightly smug. "I saw him hovering around the alarm, ready to set it off once your little fraud's tiny imagination ran out of options."

"I don't see how _you_ can be calling anyone a fraud," Sigma scoffed, but saying nothing more on the 'Doomsday' matter. "Besides, Aleister's never been wrong about a bank account number or the fact that said account's owner has been deceased. Numbers and facts like that aren't the easiest things in the world to fake."

"Didn't your precious little Aleister used to be a banker though?"

At that moment, Sigma had to stop and choose her next words carefully; as stupid as Lakit's reasons were for calling out Aleister at every turn, he did indeed have a point. The medium had once had a normal job as the head banker of Clint Bank, choosing to quit when the 'voices' had started pursuing him.

"I really don't see what that has to do with anything," she then scoffed, dismissing the alien's rather 'revealing' question as she diverted her attention back to her book. What did Lakit know, anyway?

"It has to do with everything," he retorted, with a rather victorious smirk on his long, thin face.

"Daily access to the records, inputting account details, all that monetary nonsense. I'll give him one thing, he's actually telling the truth when he says that those numbers of fortune are given to him by other forces. But those other forces are nothing more than sheets of paper with account numbers on them."

"Ok. Let's pretend for a moment that that is the case and Aleister is memorising numbers from his old job. At least he's able to remember them, unlike you and..oh, yes. You had one date, Lakit! ONE DATE! And you screwed up!"

Lakit couldn't help wincing ever so slightly at the female's heightened exclamation; still not having gotten used to the call outs despite his error having been almost a year ago, he was unable to meet her annoyed gaze. He'd heard of the Sakrohm women being loyal to their men but if he didn't tread carefully around Sigma, he'd be lucky not to have the spirits after him and a big bruise on his long green face from whatever book she fancied throwing at him.

"Who's to say that the city didn't suffer at the hands of a different kind of apocalypse?" Lakit then asked, sounding rather serious. "You can hardly say that things in this dump of a city haven't been getting worse."

In a way, it was true: less non-clan clintizens were living in the city as most of them had left because they could no longer take the fighting; the economical situation sure wasn't getting any better; the Huracan's arrival had only intensified the fighting into longer, more frequent brawls and the Polit were, of course, doing nothing about it. Apparently, the matter was out of their hands, and it seemed that the current matter was out of Sigma's interest if the fact she'd returned to her book meant anything. She hadn't made any kind of sign or gesture, but it was pretty obvious that she wanted him out of her personal space.

At that moment, Aleister had made an appearance, much to Lakit's chagrin; immediately making a beeline to Sigma and greeting her with a quick, sweet kiss, their affection was a little too much for the alien, who had turned his back on them to avert his gaze from such an act.

"What's the matter, Lakit?" Aleister asked, his tone a mixture of cockiness and victory. "Did they not have love on your planet or something?"

"Seeing a primitive species engage in affection just shouldn't happen," the alien responded, shuddering at the thought of it all. "But at least it's not as offensive as that nausea Oxo calls _talking_."

"Ugh, _don't_," Sigma groaned, her cheeks showing spots of faint emerald. "I swear he's having me on. I've read the dossiers on every single planet and there is no species that communicates _only_ by farting. He has a mouth, why doesn't he put it to work and _speak_already?"

"Because there are some species even more primitive than yours," Lakit said, beginning to turn away from the two humans.

"Guru finds it hilarious," Aleister said, sounding rather bemused. "Who'd have thought someone as austere as him would enjoy toilet humour so much?"

The subject switch to Oxo had made Lakit and Sigma forget what they had been arguing about, and it was probably for the best; the trio being able to actually have a good time when cordiality and civility were on the menu, their verbal exchanges lasted for the next half hour and interrupted only when Sigma noticed Lilou standing by the door.

"Hey there," she said, gently beckoning the petite redhead into the room. "What's up?"

"Guru said it's your turn to lead the Ras...Ras...Raskjaterumilarxt tonight," she managed to say, looking extremely pleased with herself over her conquering of the weird, long word. "He knows you hate it-"

"Too right I do!" Sigma retorted, her tone a mixture of disgust and discomfort.

"Lemme finish," the redhead then said, sounding a little annoyed but smiling all the same. "He knows you hate it but if you do it, he'll get someone else to help translate for Oxo for the rest of the week."

"It's just the blessings before consumption," Aleister began to explain, as if it was elementary but surprisingly gentle at the same time. "Why doth the lady protest so much?"

"I'm a universal atheist," Sigma replied, not quite able to look the alien in the eye. "I don't do my work because I believe in a great cause like God or Gilbon. I just like helping people and Guru was actually able to help me do something with my foreign language degrees."

"Ah," Aleister then responded, slightly uncomfortable but still understanding. "Then your discomfort would make sense."

"Still, it would be nice to have a few days where I only need ONE shower," the dark-haired then said, a cheeky grin on her face as she turned to Lilou. "Tell him I'll do it."

"Gotcha!" The redhead exclaimed, nodding at each of her clanmates before running off to deliver the decision to their leader.

"Shall we?" Aleister asked, not sounding too enthusiastic; a 'huh' escaping him upon Sigma's equally unethused 'meh, I guess so", he then couldn't help snickering when he noticed Lakit's own expression.

To say that he looked like he feared the end was an understatement, but then it certainly wouldn't have been the first time...


End file.
